When you decide to get involved with someone, you’re not just committing to someone who you see a future with, but you’re committing to their past too. When you initially start dating someone, you may be more focused on finding common ground in terms of hobbies, style, interests and choice of career. As time passes by, you start to grow familiar with other parts of them and start to understand their goals, beliefs, joys, fears, and ways of thinking better. Here is a list of important questions you must ask your partner to build a strong relationship:
1. What Kind Of Relationship Do You Share With Your Family?
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This is important as this can be a determining factor for some people. Even if your partner has a decent relationship with their parents, there might be something that lies beneath the surface. Obviously, your partner isn’t going to tell you personal issues that he may face with his parents but you can probably gauge their relationship from the way they interact with each other. Sometimes, just asking about their family is enough to let them know you care and can help build trust and emotional intimacy.
2. What Gives You A Sense Of Fulfillment?
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Sure, it’s an extremely loaded question to ask someone, but if someone can’t answer that question even partially, they probably aren’t the one for you. Everyone has something they do that makes them, them. Knowing what drives them to achieve what they want can also allow you to provide them with a source of support. Be it emotional or financial.
3. What Do You Find Difficult To Tell Me?
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If your partner is a little shy and doesn’t open up easily it might be a good idea to sit them down and ask them this question. Sometimes, they need to be given a platform to talk about issues they are uncomfortable talking about. Just make sure you don’t push too much from your end. Even if they’re not comfortable talking about things you should let them know that you will be there for them regardless and that they matter deeply to you.
4. What Would You Do In This Situation?
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There is nothing that strokes a man’s ego better than asking him what he would do in a situation that you find yourself stuck in. Ask them how they would handle a problem that you’re not quite sure about. Even if you just need a second opinion, it really would make a world of a difference. It shows that you respect their opinion and want to be close to them.
5. What Is It That Makes You Feel Loved?
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Sometimes this is all you need to get to the heart of the person and find out what makes them tick. It’s important to understand your partner’s love language and display it to them. Some partners would like words of affirmation, others might prefer tiny but meaningful gifts while others might just appreciate a cute little post-it love note on their mirror. Besides love, you can change these words to suit your partner’s preferences. Like what makes you feel appreciated/respected/supported or even important?
6. How Can I Help When You’re Going Through A Rough Patch?
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Let’s face it, even the most “sorted” people in life go through a rough patch. If you really want to be a better partner and get to know somebody better, you should ask them how you can help them feel better when they’re going through a rough patch. Maybe they’re having a hard time at work or have to deal with certain responsibilities related to their parents or finances. Maybe, they’re just going through a low phase in general. Either way, it’s best to bring this up well in advance rather than wait for them to reach a low point.
7. How Are You Today?
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It’s the littlest of things that count. Sometimes all your partner wants from you is a small conversation. Sure Elvis is notorious for singing “A little less conversation, a little more action” but this doesn’t work in long term relationships. Physical intimacy can only get you so far in life and it’s important to build a rapport with someone you spend so much of your free time with. Trust can be built through everyday activities, so asking them how they’re doing and actually paying attention to them and listening to them could make a world of a difference. If your partner is usually shy and introverted but only likes to confide in you, it could be a sign that they’ve lowered their inhibitions with you and are open to the idea of trusting you.
All in all, trust is an essential part of building a strong relationship. You can’t have a solid relationship without building the foundations of one first. It is extremely important to be upfront and honest with each other if you want your relationship to last. This means being upfront with your partner about your expectations as well. What do you think is an essential hallmark of a solid relationship? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
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